At
some point of time we will have to start thinking about “sex” differently. First
thing first, Sex requires a lot of maturity. One must know what, why and how of it, as
better as possible. But, should there be a question on when? Should it be only
after marriage? Should pre-marital sex be a complete No-No?
Considering the current social conditions, saying that pre-marital sex
should not happen, is as impractical as it is foolish. It is happening and it
will continue to, whether we like it or not. There are many socio-psychological
aspects to this question (or Problem, whatever you choose to recognize it as). Teenagers
who are experiencing nascent puberty are more and more curious about it. Now,
as a parent or guardians of moral policing, you may go on and try to stop
everyone and prevent it from happening. But, can you?
I
know, as a society, we are not ready, yet, to accept it as a common occurrence
and we may have a lot of arguments to justify our thinking. But let’s focus on
what is it that we are, actually, preventing from happening. By not having an
honest dialog with your friends, kids and parents you are preventing development
of healthy thinking about sex and it’s impacting physical and mental health of
our teenagers and youth. As our society matures, average age of marriage will
go up because people would want to be financially secure before they start
their family. Going by social conventions, it will deny them any physical
relationship which is accepted by society. Consider the impact of this on them.
I know the question which popped in your mind. “Why is it even important to
have sex, there is a lot that people should focus on?” I will not answer this
question for you, please take your own time to find “your” answer.
We,
as Indians, have understood the importance of “Brahmcharya”. Even now when we
preach brahmcharya and insist that it should be practiced by every individual
in a certain period of time of his/her life, we are right and perfectly so because
it has a lot of benefits in the development of an individual. But, just for a minute, if you think, the
social condition which facilitated successful period of celibacy (brahmcharya) is
not prevalent any more. Our kids are not sent to “Gurukuls” anymore. They are
being made aware of their sexuality by movies, advertisements, social media and
print media long before they understand it. This heightened awareness will
never let them be celibate. Purity of a soul is from “Mann, Vachan and Karma” (Heart,
Speech and Action). When heart and speech are not ready to accept celibacy, how
long can you prevent action? If at all you could, consider the impacts of your
success.
I am
not advocating either side of the argument, all I am saying is that as a
society we must practice what is sustainable based on our condition. We must
focus more on education, honesty and mutual respect more than satisfaction of
our own righteousness. We must focus on love and understand it in its truest
form. We, as a society, should teach love, care and respect as fundamentals and
standards. Here is a new book by Poonam Uppal which teaches essence of True
Love - Poonaam
Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.