Leftovers

Disclaimer - All persons and places in this story are purely fictitious, and any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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Prologue –
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There was an uncomfortable silence when I looked up and saw her gazing out of the window. She was staring at a dress which was on display in a showroom right in front of the restaurant. We had just been out of the theater after watching “Prince of Persia”, the love story of the movie had both of us thinking although not showing it on our face. We sat in our usual table in our usual Chinese restaurant. Everything was so usual – same old sluggish service, too much chilly in Chinese food, waiters busy in their own conversations and so on. Manager in his same old red shirt and black pants was trying to talk on the phone with someone. After a wait of 30 minutes waiter brought our regular order of vegetarian manchurian and noodles. Looking outside the window her face was turned a little away from me. A tress of her hair was resting on her face and red and green lights of the neighboring toy shop were flashing on her face alternately.
I did not want to disturb her but I had to. We started eating, making small talk. I knew she felt something for me. I did not realize that we were almost done eating, almost! The last piece of Manchurian was left in her plate, I had my eyes on it, she looked up and said “ I don’t feel like having it, you want some ?” I said “yeah, sure”.
Leftovers!!
She was like that last piece of Manchurian in someone else’s plate that I wanted, desperately. I knew it was love or something very close to that and I was sure that I wanted to travel the distance and reach the pinnacle of love with her. As she served the Manchurian from her plate, I was wondering if her boyfriend would be generous enough to drop her in my “plate” (read: life). I knew it would be impossible for her to leave him, years of long relationship with a promise of love, care and marriage is a difficult thing to find and she was not going to let it go for me. I knew I had nothing to offer her other than my feelings. In that state of mind all I was craving for, was some of her time and attention which she could spare from her “real” boyfriend.
All I wanted were “Leftovers”.

She –
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It was not love at first sight. I don’t even remember when I saw her first! She worked in the same office. She was quiet and reserved. My attention was drawn to her only when our office womanizer went to drop her home.
I thought hell! One more girl fell in the trap.
A few days later, a friend of mine invited her to have tea with us at our regular tea shop. She was in a white and blue combination sweater and brown trousers. In the middle of the conversation, she suddenly said that she was fat! I wanted to reply with “I don’t think so”, but I didn’t. I found her lively and interesting once I got to spend some time with her. The Best thing about her was that she was open for new things. However she already had a boyfriend! And a nagging one at that, well at least for me! He incessantly kept calling her every hour, and as any single man trying to make things happen with a girl, I wondered, what they talked about.
We kept hanging out, first less then more and then almost always. I had no idea what I was getting into, was I going to get another “best friend”? At one point she suggested to be my wing woman. I looked at her and shrugged, screaming in my head “I need a woman not a wing woman”!
There was something about her which drew me towards her like a moth to a flame. She was intelligent and smart; more importantly I loved her company. Hang outs, movies and late dinners became our daily routine.
After a tiring Saturday in an amusement park we sat in a coffee shop. She suddenly looked at me and asked – “Do you believe in Open Relationships? “. I was too dumb for that question, I replied in question – “What is an open relationship?” Believe me I had no idea!
That question from her that evening got me confused, what were her intentions? I had felt warmth when she held my hand during those rides, walks and sometimes in movies. I had seen her eyes when she looked at me, there was something that I was too scared to explore or ask about. So I let it go every time but now I was caught off guard, when she spoke out in open. Open Relationship? I was not sure.
Absurdity of the idea or at least the unacceptability of the idea of having an affair along with your “real” relationship was repulsive. I know I wanted her, but this way? Again I was not sure. Every second I thought about her. I wanted to spend more time with her just to be sure.
This was the time when a small “romance like component” got added to our relationship without any mention. This was a relationship without any proposal, at least for me. I treated her like I would treat my girl friend; I depended on her like I would on my girl friend. I loved her. There was no way for me to actually find out how she felt. What was it that she wanted? It was her suggestion which brought an “Open Relationship” as an option. I did not know what to do after that.
We kept hanging out together. I did not have courage to go and ask her. I kept muttering something often but never said it out aloud. It seemed cursing myself, God and conditions was the only thing that I could do then. But I was sick of it. I knew that there was no future to this relation. I had always avoided putting my efforts into something which was going to give no results. But somehow she felt worth all the trouble. Every time I felt that she was worth it, I felt ready to take a step.
One evening after office on our way back, I held her hand. She looked at me and I asked “ Do you want that open relationship now? “. She nodded in affirmative and smiled. Yay!! Elated that I was, I wanted to jump out of the cab in happiness (But that was risky  ). I yelled at auto driver “take us to Geofrey’s“. It was time for celebration!!
The piece of Manchurian that I wanted was finally in my plate. Now she was mine, at least for a bit.
I got the “leftovers”.
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Epilogue
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We have lived happily in an extraordinary relationship which border lines an arrangement. There is same intensity that any complete relationship would have but there is something missing, I don’t know, if for good. Sometimes we get a little possessive for each other and ask about each others’ whereabouts. But then we realize that this relationship has no place for idiosyncrasies of a normal relationship. But resisting that from happening seemed impossible. It still is!

When you are in an open relationship with a girl who already has plans to get married to someone else, what is it that you are supposed to do? You cannot madly stay in love. You cannot afford to allow all your expectations to be lingering around one person who, you know, cannot fulfill them. The day will come when you would lose this relationship. So while you are enjoying every moment of it, you have to be ready to let it go when time comes.
I have “Leftovers” and I still wonder sometimes if I want more.

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